My tweets

  • Tue, 8:03: If working an office job teaches you anything, it's how to draft an email that diplomatically asks, "What the fuck is your problem?"
  • Tue, 10:29: Note to everyone talking about Oprah as president: just because she'd be better than Trump (like, you know, pretty much anyone) and she's more liberal doesn't change the fact that she is also totally unqualified and full of shit.
  • Tue, 12:51: Meet my new fetish.
  • Tue, 13:42: RT @Nicole_Cliffe: If you have a piece in the hopper over at @Harpers, ask your editor if the Roiphe piece is happening. If it is, I will pay you cash for what you’d lose by yanking it. My email is nicole dot cliffe at gmail.
  • Tue, 13:44: Okay but what about Gorilla CHANEL®
  • Tue, 15:08: Million dollar product idea! Geoduck with piercing through its head, canned. “Prince Albert in a Can”
  • Tue, 16:36: I think we should replace the word “vomit” with “mouthgasm.”