My tweets

  • Mon, 7:58: I was a few minutes later than usual to work today but I think we can all agree getting my eyeliner just right was worth it.
  • Mon, 13:59: I cannot walk past cheese and not eat any of it. It’s not possible. Some of you still need to learn, understand, and respect this.
  • Mon, 15:05: RT @saladinahmed: Happy Presidents’ Day just a reminder that George Washington literally took an ad out in the newspaper to send hunters with chains and dogs after human beings he claimed to own
  • Mon, 20:54: Just finished an iTunes playlist of songs about the apocalypse. Fun!
  • Mon, 21:04: RT @DanMentos: This is genius. The school shooters will see a guy with three arms and freak the fuck out
  • Mon, 23:57: You ever wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of your spouse’s snoring so like a chainsaw, it makes want to take a chainsaw to their neck?

    Um. Uhhhh... me neither