My tweets

  • Fri, 9:58: Today I learned that the plastic tied end of a loaf of bread is actually called a "ponytail." And a product fact sheet identifies theirs as a "DYNAMIC PONYTAIL." Okay, slow down, bread! There are no dynamic ponytails.

    This loaf of bread think it's fucking Tony Little.

  • Fri, 11:55: Assuming this also happened to the other five of you I sent wooden #Yellowstone postcards to, I’m so sorry! I had no idea these things required so much damned postage. 😕 I mean, the upper right corner just had “PLACE STAMP HERE” so that’s what I did! I’ll pay you all back and I’m never sending $19.50 worth of postcards with only $1.50 worth of postage again!

    (Claudia did not demand a refund, for the record. I tried to give her $3 and she literally hurled it back at me. What an ingrate!)
  • Fri, 13:42:
  • Fri, 16:05: Just entered new item info for Dill Magazine. There's no code for Sweet Pickle Magazine, which I think is fucking bullshit!
  • Fri, 18:18: #TransPrideSeattle