Christmas 2019

I am so stupidly obsessed over my weight—I weighed in this morning at 157.1 lbs, and I immediately scrolled back in my MyFitnessPal app to see what it had been on the day after Christmas last year. 156.7 lbs. Hmm. Only 0.4 lbs higher year-over-year; not half bad, actually! Also, then I look at myself in a picture like the one above, and I think, Damn, I look thin! It's important to note, though, that black is slimming. Anyway, in our traditional Christmas Eve Morning Gift Exchange, Shobhit got me a gift more fun than he's gotten me in ages: the Klutzy Kitty Wine Bottle Holder, which he actually pointed out to me when I went to meet him at Total Wine a while back and I was thoroughly delighted by it. And then, when I opened the present and it was this, I really laughed—I had no idea that's what it was. And, it was the perfect kind of gift to be exchanged between us: something he knew for certain I would love; very much aligned with my interests (cats, and drinking); and most importantly, really quite reasonably priced—especially with Shobhit's employee discount. I had even helped bring it upstairs from the car, boxed but unwrapped (the box was not labeled), at one point; he had suggested I could just open it then if I wanted. "No, I want to wait!" I said, of course. Shobhit loves to go out of his way to say he "doesn't care" about gift exchanges, but the trappings and traditions of Christmas are important to me, goddammit! And I am so, so glad I did wait; opening that crackup of a gift was totally worth waiting for. Shobhit packed my stocking with several other things, all also from Total Wine: salted caramel chocolates; tequila gummies; a sampler box of flavored tequila shots (I've already used the vanilla one for the chai I made us Tuesday morning); even a $150 gift card for Total Wine. Now that he also works for a retail company, his approach to stocking stuffers has become similar to mine, although he buys most of his stuff with his employee discount, whereas I give him a lot of stuff I find as samples or, often, items from broker gift bags. I didn't even put as many items as usual in his stocking this year. The one real "gift" was this year's Christmas Tree ornament—Denver, CO, since that's where he and I traveled to this year—and the rest was treats and snacks. I did actually buy two of them, though: Seattle Chocolates chocolate bars, which we sell at PCC but I could not get from our stores without him seeing (and I had no samples of these at the office), and they were on sale at QFC for 2/$5 anyway. So one day last week I just walked down to QFC to buy them, mostly just because I think that orca whale in a sweater is so wonderful and adorable. Anyway I put one other Tcho Chocolate bar as well as two pretzel sticks bags, all of which had been part of a broker gift bag, into his stocking, and that was it. And you know what he did? He put a few more gifts for himself—again from Total Wine & More—into his own Christmas stocking! That kind of cracked me up. Anyway we also put a few things into Christmas stockings for Guru and Shanti, as always, even though it is arguably pointless. (This was their 12th Christmas, and they've had these stockings since 2008.) But I love doing it! And this year they got a few treats, two new toys that they mostly ignored (but I'm okay with that since I only paid like a dollar each at Petco), and new collars. Shobhit's work schedule has thrown a slight wrench into our plans for Christmas two years in a row now, but we've still managed to improvise—to better effect this year, for me, than last year. Last year, Shobhit had an 8 to 5 shift at Big 5 on Christmas Eve, and because he had to be to work early that day, we did what is usually our Christmas Eve morning gift exchange the previous morning instead, on December 23. In the end I actually wound up getting out of bed early enough that we could still have done it on the 24th, so at the time I thought I would take note for this year. And then, there was no real chance to stop by either Danielle's or Gabriel's on the way down to Olympia on Christmas Eve like I often like to do. I thought about maybe bussing to Danielle's and having Shobhit pick me up, but I didn't want to prolong the Christmas Eve drive that could not start until 5:00, and I wanted to make it down in time for the traditional Christmas Eve dinner at Emperor's Palace in Olympia. So instead, I bussed north to Northgate to meet Shobhit at Big 5 when he got off work, and then we drove straight to Olympia from there. This year, his shift was from 11:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., and Shobhit still needed time to make samosas for Christmas dinner. I proposed a compromise, and Shobhit accepted, which I think worked for him largely because it made him happier to leave the cats alone for a smaller span of time, and he never particularly wants to stay overnight in Olympia anyway. But, I do: I've done it every year since 2001. That may have to change in the coming years, but not yet! So, I took transit down to Olympia Christmas Eve and stayed the night at Dad and Sherri's house; and Shobhit drove down to meet us late yesterday (Christmas) morning. And! Stopping by Danielle's remained infeasible as long as I was bussing down. The same would have been the case any other year, except this one: he and Lea have lived in Columbia City since late August. Their place is barely a 10-minute walk from the Light Rail Station. This did somewhat complicate my transit itinerary, and Gabriel probably would have been just as happy not to have one more person stop by on a day already packed with visitors, but who cares! Matthew gets what Matthew wants! Shobhit actually drove me the half mile or so to the Capitol Hill Light Rail Station, from which I rode Light Rail to Columbia City; visited with Gabriel and his temporarily semi-crowded household for about ninety minutes; then I took Light Rail north again to SoDo Station, so I could catch the southbound Sound Transit 594 express to the State Route 512 Park & Ride. I'll get to all that momentarily. In the photo above, you can see Gabriel to the far right; the back of Lea to the left of him; Tess and Stephanie in front of her, with Lea's dad who has a distinctive name I cannot for the life of me remember behind them; and Lea's uncle—her dad's brother—to the far left. Her stepmother was there too, out of frame. Oh, and that's Lady, Lea's dog, in the foreground. She was sitting on the couch. When I look at this photo I think of the song "Jingle Bell Rock"—mix and mingle in the jingling beat! I had arrived at about 11:50 a.m., a tad later than I desired but oh well. I had first stopped at the Columbia City PCC to buy four Amy's Vegetable Pot Pies for Gabriel as a Christmas present. I even asked for one of the holiday themed paper bags so I could use it as gift wrap; I had brought scissors and Scotch tape in my backpack just so I could wrap it up as a gift at one of the small tables outside the store. When I got there, Lea and her stepmom had gone out to the store, and Gabriel would not open the gift until they got back. I told him it was something that should go in the freezer, but he said they would be back shortly. And he still did not want to open it until they had gotten back, settled in a bit, and Lady had calmed down. He was appropriately amused when he opened it. We were at a restaurant not long ago and he got excited when he saw pot pie on the menu, until he realized it wouldn't be vegetarian. So I thought, I'm going to get him some pot pies. Gabriel himself explained to Lea that between him and me, sometimes he gets me something but I don't get him a gift; sometimes it's the other way around; sometimes we both exchange and sometimes we don't. From my end, it always just depends on whether I run across something that speaks to me as something Gabriel should have. If I don't have a moment like that, I don't get him anything. This is basically my approach for anyone for whom I'm not getting the annual calendars. (I actually made a calendar for Danielle this year, which I don't usually do. But, half of the photos are of Niagara Falls, which I visited with her, so it seemed obvious I should at least make her a copy.) So, of course I was not at all expecting anything from them, but Gabriel and Lea got me three gifts: a rather pretty Sugarfina gift box of three little boxes of candy (the same company as the liquor infused candies Shobhit has brought home from Total Wine, I believe; these ones did not have alcohol though); a coaster with a Dachshund that says I ❤️ WIENERS; and my favorite—which Gabriel said he found at a store across the street from his apartment building—a mug with the message I AM A RAY OF FUCKING SUNSHINE. I don't think that quite represents the "essence of Matthew" the way it once would have, but it remains perfect for me nonetheless. Gabriel didn't even know Stephanie and Tess would be stopping by until after I got there. But, apparently, Stephanie and Tess were on their way to Stephanie's mom's for Christmas Eve, but Tess wanted to see Gabriel at least briefly on Christmas Eve. They were only able to be there for about fifteen or twenty minutes, but hey, it qualifies as a Social Review point! Which I don’t believe Stephanie has gotten since spring of this year when she was at Trans Pride; before that it had been since my Birth Week in 2016, at least based on my Flickr account. Something different happened during the brief period of time I was there, I guess only the second time the exercises I do got noticed in some random way. I have been doing my every-other-day push-ups and planks since at least 2012, and actually Shobhit noticed a difference pretty quickly. We were in bed once and he had his hand on my chest and commented on how much firmer it seemed to be. That happened a long time ago though, probably around 2013. When I was at Gabriel's apartment on Tuesday, though, he had clapped his hand on the back of my shoulders a couple of times, and the second time actually commented on how strong it felt in that particular spot. The push-ups would clearly be the only explanation, but I had never actually told him about this before. So, I told him I do a cumulative 100 push-ups every other day: 34 when I get out of bed in the morning; 33 when I get home from work; and 33 before bed. (I also do side planks and a front plank both in the morning and in the evening, but not in the afternoon.) Apparently, it's made a noticeable difference. Well, noticeable after seven years, anyway. I'd look even better if I could stop eating junk and candy every day. January, fresh start! Why not be a cliché! Anyway then Stephanie moved over like, "Well now I have to feel!" They were all going to see The Rise of Skywalker—Gabriel's second viewing—at the Ark Lodge Theater about a block away at 1:45. I needed to leave by 1:30 to catch the Light Rail train I needed anyway, so everyone pretty much left Gabriel and Lea's apartment all at the same time. Gabriel stayed behind for maybe two minutes to wait for me; I used the bathroom and then I was on my way, gifts in my bag and a boozy almond milk "nog" drink Gabriel had offered me in my belly. My transit ride to Olympia thereafter was a bit of a fiasco, an itinerary beginning at SoDo Station that should have taken two hours and 41 minutes, and instead took three hours and 26 minutes. It got extended by 45 minutes because I missed my connecting bus at the State Route 512 Park & Ride, and that happened because the Southbound 594 bus out of SoDo Station was already 9 minutes delayed when I got on it! I knew the Trip Planner was cutting it super close giving me a layover at the Park & Ride of only about seven minutes, but I held out hope that the InterCity Transit express 612 out of the Park & Ride would also be delayed. No such luck! Honestly it was a blessing, because had my layover not been extended, I would have been in agony from having to pee by the time I finally reached Olympia. This way, I had time to go over to the nearby Wendy's, which I'm pretty sure is new, and use their bathroom. It didn't even have a lock or force me to buy something or anything. I just had to wait a minute for a guy to get out of the stall, which I had plenty of time for and it didn't take long anyway. I wasn't in any real bladder pain at that moment, but I still peed a healthy amount and it was clear I would have been in a world of hurt after another hour otherwise. Really, the only unpleasant part of the trek was the cold and how often I had to be outside. Thankfully it wasn't raining, but it was still kind of wet and there was a wet, cutting cold to the air. It was kind of sprinkling by the time I reached the Olympia Transit Center at 5:09. This bus usually gets to that stop several minutes early, was actually delayed a bit by this time, and that only meant the bus actually arrived on time. I was originally supposed to get there at 4:24. But, I was able to text Dad about the delay, and he was there to pick me up at the transit center at 5:09. I would have been willing to walk the mile from there to their house, but I was sure glad Dad offered to pick me up. Jennifer and Matthew and her kids all came by the house a bit early to visit before dinner. Jennifer had only suggested making dinner reservations for 7:00 because she wasn't sure how long it would take her to finish delivering mail that day, but she ended up finishing earlier than expected. And then something happened when we all got up to leave for the restaurant that made my heart sink: put my hands in my pockets, and realized . . . I had left my AirPods on the bus. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! To say that bummed me out would be an understatement. I literally just got off the phone with Intercity Transit and the lady checked lost and found for me, and I really didn't think they would be there, and they weren't. But, she also said sometimes it takes a day to get down there, and with Christmas throwing a wrench into things this week, I might want to try again tomorrow. That's slightly annoying as I was seriously considering just buying the replacement pair tonight, but if there is any chance I can still retrieve the ones I lost—Sherri told me she would go pick them up for me if they have them—then I should wait to be certain. I had only used the AirPods briefly when watching a video on my phone, but I wanted to take them out of my ears before getting to the final stop at the transit center. I'm pretty sure what happened was, I set the AirPods case on the seat next to my backpack, and, as I was putting my book bag into the bag, the AirPods must have slipped underneath the bag. And then, in an instant: out of sight, out of mind. When it was time to get off the bus, I picked up the bag and put it on my back without looking back at the seat, which I really need to get into the habit of doing any time I leave anywhere. (Sherri also said this to me. She's right.) You would not believe how many times over I kept checking my pockets. Or maybe you would. Sherri pulled a cruel prank on me once we reached the restaurant and parked in the Emperor's Palace parking lot. When the overhead light came on in the car, she looked toward the floor and said, "Hey what's this little white case?" My heart skipped a beat and I said, "Tell me that's it!"—and then Sherri was like, "Just kidding." Aauggh! Well, anyway. Christmas Eve Dinner Roll Call! 1. Dad
2. Sherri
3. Me
4. Jennifer
5. Matthew
6. Hope
7. Chase
8. Ian Two less than last year, when both Shobhit and Aunt Raenae had come along. (Eric was not with us this year either and likely never will be again, but Matthew, Jennifer's new boyfriend as of this year, was.) I guess we did not have reservations last year and so it was a bit of a wait to get seated, which was why Sherri made reservations this time. Their menu is different now, and did not seem to have as many options, particularly for vegetarians. I could swear there was a cashew based vegetable dish before that I could not find on the menu. I suppose I could have just asked. Instead, I had vegetable lo mein which was all right. I still ate it all. Sherri asked how long we had been going out for Christmas Eve dinner and I figured it out: since 2012, although Jennifer has only been joining since 2013—I don't think she has missed a year since then, though. So, I even decided to create a photo album of photos I took at Christmas Eve dinner at Emperor's Palace every year. We've done this eight years but there are currently only seven photos because I did not take any shots at dinner in 2014. Most years since I have gotten staff to take a photo of the lot of us at our table. The one other year that was different was 2017, when we wound up at Applebee's because Emperor's Palace closed due to a light dusting of snow. Jennifer and her family all came back to join us at the house to visit for a little while after dinner as well. Sherri and the kids all played a game at the dining room table. Jennifer made it sound like they might swing by on Christmas Day as well, but they never did. So, when we thought we might have as many as 25 for Christmas dinner . . . . . . Christmas Dinner Roll Call! 1. Dad
2. Sherri
3. Angel
4. Brandi
5. Nick
6. Jaycee
7. Gianni
8. Ricky
9. Rachael
10. Raiden
11. Britni
12. David
13. Pam [David's mom]
14. Alex
15. Kaitlin
16. Kaitlin's daughter whose name I forget
17. Gina
18. Beth
19. Matthew
20. Shobhit Had Jennifer and Matthew and the kids come by, it would have been 25. Had they not come by but Toni Marie, James and their four kids had come over—and they probably would have, if not for an unfortunate bit of miscommunication (they did not get included on the Facebook invite), it would have been 26. If both of those families had come, it would have been 31. Not even Aunt Raenae came this year, because apparently she hosted Troy (her eldest) and his family at her house, even though she doesn’t even really have a dining room. Anyway here's the updated recorded history which I now share every year: 2011: 11
2012: 28
2013: 16
2014: 20
2015: 33
2016: 9
2017: 15
2018: 20
2019: 20 We actually matched last year! This is basically because, even though Toni and James did not make it with their three kids, for the first time since 2013, Brandi and Nick did. Now, Toni's family accounted for six people and Brandi's only four, but the other two people that came this year who were not here last year were Katilin and her little girl. Now, a few family updates. On a lighter note (depending on your perspective, anyway), by Christmas next year there will be three new additions to the family: Kaitlin is pregnant with Alex's baby; Rachel is pregnant with Ricky's baby for the second time; and Brandi is pregnant with Nick's for the third time. (Jaycee, her oldest, and this new one will be ten and a half years apart.) Now, as for Brandi: it was only weeks ago she packed up and moved back to Olympia from Phoenix. Two things I did not know about this which I learned just yesterday. First, they were apparently already planning to move back to Washington in May, at the end of Jaycee's school year. I had no idea. Second, I guess Nick put the house on the market on his own and he packed up and moved up here himself only five days later, so be closer to his family. You've got to respect that, at least, and I get the sense that many people are holding out hope that they can work through their issues and eventually stay together in the end. I was somewhat surprised Nick was even with them. I could feel a kind of vague sense of shame in the air about him, and certainly unease and tension between him and Brandi, but nevertheless, there was no drama yesterday whatsoever and everyone was perfectly civil. Everyone acted like adults! It was actually a very pleasant Christmas overall, which is honestly really never not the case. Sherri was very chill all day and never got stressed, and even commented on how whenever she didn't feel quite prepared with all the prep work and stuff, she didn't particularly care. That's the attitude! She did tell me one thing yesterday, after Shobhit arrived with the rest of the gifts and the samosas he had finished frying in the morning, but before everyone else arrived, which rather moved me. She said she had been thinking about me just that morning, about how I was her "blessed child," or the "blessing of a child," perhaps would have been more precisely what she meant. She just expressed gratitude that I was in her life. "It could have gone a very different way," she said. Indeed. I told her, "I really appreciate that, and I feel the same way." And it's not just that Sherri is my "Bonus Mom." In certain respects, she has been the mom I needed, in ways Mom herself could not be. Especially when it comes to my sexuality, Sherri gave me support and encouragement that filled the void left by Mom's judgment. Mom would try to say she wasn't full of judgment, but in her own very special way, she was. It is about more than that, though. Sherri is special for many reasons in addition to being even more understanding about my being gay than Mom or Dad had been, particularly when I was a teenager. (Dad was never malicious about it at all, but it still took him a while to gain some understanding.) Sherri was a part of my life as early as when I was five years old, and she was always very loving. Often self-conscious about being perceived as "the evil stepmother," but I never once thought of her that way. Also, she was the one who first drilled it into my head that I should brush my teeth and change my underwear every day. I'll call Bill "my stepdad" because that's just literally what he is, but I would never lump him into the phrase "my parents." It's not necessarily his fault exactly; he just missed the boat. He didn't show up until I was 21 years old. Sherri has been one of my parents, though, since I was five. I have no really working memory of my life before her. I have three parents thanks to her addition to my family, and that has been how I've looked at it for decades. So, anyway. You can click here to view all the photos from Christmas Eve and Christmas Day: a 57-shot set this year, although you could combine the "Oly Lightstravaganza" set and its 17 additional shots to consider it 74 shots total. I just separated them so I could include the latter in my collection of "Holiday Light Displays" photos albums from over the years. These pictures I took of the house three quarters of a mile from Dad and Sherri's place, which has apparently been there a decade but I only learned of it this year, really warranted their own dedicated set. Beyond that, I hope to get all the photos captioned sooner than later; some of them already are, lifted from the text I wrote in the obligatory photo digest email I sent out right before bed last night. I'm glad Shobhit and I left as early as we did, right around 6:00, which is a bit earlier than usual, but gave me just enough time to get that email done without having to stay up too late. I asked Lea for her email address so I could add her to the recipients list since she's included on it; her addition makes my recipient list number 50 people now. Because of both my inclusion of the "SAM Lights" event at the Olympic Sculpture Park on December 5 (the same day as Holiday in the Park at Volunteer Park), and the separate set for "Oly Lightstravaganza," my "Christmas 2019" collection of photo albums on Flickr has a record number of albums in it—ten of them! This after 8 sets each, in both 2017 and 2019, and breaking the previous record of 9, set in 2012. I feel relatively confident there will be fewer next year, though, because for instance, I think I can skip Holiday in the Park for a year or two, after going the past three years in a row. Ditto Seattle Center Winterfest. That said, there are other Christmasy things I have yet to do that I want to next year, so who knows! Christmastime always has the potential to delight and surprise, right? [posted 1:18 pm]