My tweets

  • Fri, 8:37: So I gained a couple new Facebook friends this week and for one of them it appears I'm his 666th one but unfortunately I don't really know him well enough yet to tell him "I'm honored to bring some darkness into your life."
  • Fri, 11:51: Just saw an email announcing recall of "headless yellow walking fish." So they're zombie fish, then? I guess the end is upon us, everybody. FYI
  • Fri, 16:29: A guy at work basically told me salted caramel was not his favorite flavor of the chocolate truffles and I'm still having trouble getting over it. He might as well have told me he wasn't crazy about orgasms.
  • Fri, 22:22: holy shitballs
  • Fri, 22:31: Can't wait for my eventual opportunity to live tweet my complete lack of disaster preparedness in Seattle.