socials
I was not thinking I would be doing any socializing last night, but in the end, I guess I did. Sachin happened to be relatively nearby and so Shobhit invited him over.
I really want to give Shobhit some credit here. I often complain about ways in which I don't feel like he respects me enough, and I don't mention often enough when he really steps up. This is one of the latter cases. He has really deferred to me when it comes to what I feel we should be doing in regards to visitors in our home, in terms of COVID restrictions and recommendations. Sachin has been fully vaccinated for months and his girlfriend still isn't at all. I told him not long ago that during this current spike in Delta variant cases (in many areas of the country resulting in more hospitalizations than the previous peak in the pandemic), we really should not be having anyone over who is not vaccinated. Shobhit checked in with me last night, and asked if it was okay if Sachin came over. He already knew I would not want his girlfriend over as long as she was unvaccinated.
And, I said that was fine. I also ran it by Ivan, sort of. I didn't exactly ask for permission; I just texted him a "heads up" that Shobhit's friend Sachin was coming over and that he's fully vaccinated. Ivan was clearly unconcerned: That's kool, he texted back. I have also already made it clear what the boundaries are with Ivan, so I don't think he'll be bringing home any hookups any time soon. Right now, if we must have any visitors—and they remain rare—they need to be fully vaccinated, just like we are.
Now, granted, there is still a certain risk when it comes to whoever else any of these people might be hanging out with (case in point, Sachin with his unvaccinated girlfriend), but breakthrough cases remain rare—the vast majority of this surge of hospitalizations is unvaccinated people—so the risk is fairly low. Call it a calculated risk. We all decide what we're comfortable with, and I have drawn very clear boundaries.
Those boundaries were different a few months ago. Back in May, we actually did have Sachin and his girlfriend over to our condo. To her credit, she kept her face mask on until I told her she was free to remove it. At that time, however, Delta was not yet the predominant strain in the U.S., and the data at the time said it was relatively safe for vaccinated people to visit indoors with an unvaccinated person from, at most, one other household. That's what we did at the time. The metrics have no changed, though, and that scenario is too high a risk for my comfort. And even now, fundamentally speaking, that is far more for the girlfriend's safety than my own: even in the unlikely event that I was carrying the virus but asymptomatic, I could then easily spread it to her—far more easily than any of the rest of us vaccinated people—and potentially land her in a hospital. My refusal to allow her in our home right now is actually far more for her own good than for ours.
I learned something new last night about why she is unvaccinated. It's a religious thing: she, and her entire family, are apparently Christian Scientists (that was my best guess; Sachin struggled to remember the name exactly, but this tracks). This is a denomination of Christianity that historically has rejected mixing medical care with "Christian Science healing," and it's something both Sachin and Shobhit, who were raised Hindu, struggle to wrap their minds around. Frankly so do I, but it's from a far different perspective.
The biggest bummer about it was, knowing it's a religious thing, I knew instantly that with this woman, it's likely a lost cause. Conspiracy theorists are one thing, but the faith you were brought up with tells you it's not necessary to get preventative medical care, it's going to be damned near impossible to convince you otherwise. To his credit, Sachin says he has been haranguing her to get vaccinated for weeks, probably months. She even missed her sister's wedding really just because of her refusal to get vaccinated—although apparently her entire family, including a parent (or an aunt? I can't recall) with comorbidities, is also unvaccinated. I guess the vast majority of them live in New Hampshire, which is where she's from. (Its neighboring state of Vermont has the nation's highest fully vaccinated rate, at 68%; New Hampshire ranks #8 at 58.8%, although honestly still that's pretty high—Washington is right behind them at 58.4%.)
Anyway, I actually spent most of the evening last night in the bedroom, mostly working on my memorial video for Auntie Rose, which I am actually quite enjoying working on. I may not be able to fit it into the standardized 10 minute run time so I can load it in full to Flickr, but that's okay; I can improvise if need be. A lot of this stuff I might feel is more important to keep included than to cut it down for length. It won't be any longer than about 15 minutes as it is, probably.
Still, Shobhit did text me to come out at one point, because Sachin had brought treats: these very fluffy, delicious round flatbreads I can't remember the name of; and a package of shortbread cookies, many of them with jelly centers. Dammit! I wish I had known this was coming before I already ate the last quarter of a pint of Acme Valley Fudge Brownie ice cream for dessert after dinner. I kept my portions low with the treats, at least: the shortbread cookies were quite small and I had two; I took one small portion of the bread.
We had a brief moment of very animated conversation about vaccinations, and frustration with people who refuse to get them. All three of us were preaching to the choir, really (an ironic metaphor): these idiots don't think about how a seemingly "low" fatality rate (and the fatality rate is actually pretty high among the infected) means little when it doesn't count the people who may not die but are still hospitalized, and the fact that these hospitalizations are not only crushing health care systems, but resulting in people who need medical care that has nothing to do with COVID not receiving it because all the resources are being used up. This is precisely the case in Mississippi right now, where it's so bad that they're being sent federal assistance, all of that part of national resources that would not have needed to be diverted to them if that fucking state had gotten their shit together with vaccination programs and messaging to begin with. (They are hardly the only state in this sort of predicament. Don't get me started.)
And now? There's already starting to be a run on entertainment venues, in addition to state and federal government staff, getting vaccine mandates. I am all for it. As it happens, my local gay bathhouse, Steamworks, only just yesterday announced that until further notice they will be requiring proof of vaccination. I had gone twice in June and July, but lately had been actively avoiding it; I may now go back soon just because of this. Venues and work places around the country should have frankly been doing this from the start. I know it's pissing off a lot of people who think it means their "freedoms" are being taken away, but they are clearly wrong. And I don't care about their bruised convictions anyway. Fuck all of those people. Literally the only people with a legitimate reason to refuse vaccination are the ones who came to that conclusion with their primary care physician based on their personal medical situation, allergies, or what have you. And hello, those few people are precisely the reason why the rest of us should fucking get vaccinated, to protect them! I want to pull my fucking hair out.
American individualism is quite clearly a truly misguided and unsustainable failure. This country might as well be just pulling out a gun and shooting itself in the face.
One last thing! I just finished an hour FaceTime call with Karen, our usually twice-monthly lunch which, even though we are both back at our respective offices, we have continued to do virtually. The thing is, this time, it's been five weeks since we last did it, because the last one she had to cancel due to a last-minute scheduling conflict.
This meant I had a lot to catch her up on, not least of which is Ivan moving back in for the third time (on July 10), and Shobhit deciding to quit his job at Big 5 Sporting Goods. I also got slight updates on the house she and Dave are going to have built on a plot to the north of Seattle; she's beginning to feel like construction won't begin until 2024—she said that may be an exaggeration, but only maybe—as they're having such a hard time finding a contractor and they won't even have permits done until sometime next year. But! They do have a shed set up out there now, as of just last Wednesday, and after talking for some time about having Shobhit and me come out to visit and hang out with them there, that is now on our calendars for Sunday, September 5.
And speaking of scheduling, although Laney and I are keeping our plan for Happy Hour tomorrow after work (in Volunteer Park though, no longer at any restaurant), her hip is still not well enough for the day trip to Kanaskat-Palmer State Park on Sunday. We very tentatively moved that to Sunday, August 29, which is the day after Auntie Rose's memorial in Port Townsend on the 28th. If both of those actually happen, I'll have day trips of one kind of another on Sunday and Monday two weekends in a row: the next weekend will be Gina's 50th birthday party in Olympia on Saturday September 4, before hanging out with Karen and Dave on the 5th.
Anyway I really need to get back to work.
[posted 1:07 pm]