Thu, 5:26: RT @Manda_like_wine: What idiot called it incest instead of pumpkin?
Thu, 7:04: RT @OhNoSheTwitnt: Attention women on birth control: Schedule your period to come on October 31st. Then you can say you decorated your vagina for Halloween.
Thu, 8:11: Increasingly ridiculous nut milk brand names:

Milkadamia
Malk
Nudpods Creamer

(These are all real.)

Thu, 12:06: This is insanity, and America literally elected to become a nation of heartless monsters. https://t.co/SlsHMDr1Hi
Thu, 12:40: I just learned the meaning of "petaflop," and it's not a counter-productive action by the morons at PETA, although it should be.
Thu, 14:24: I just want the haters to know that a woman I've never met called to me by name to tell me how great my hair looks & this is my normal life.
Thu, 18:15: ...And then I cut it all off! (I always do this time of year.) It’s actually a bit shorter than intended but oh well; it'll grow. https://t.co/pZU5dqtMVW