the fruitcake enterprises social review -- summer 2017

In the summer of 2017, I engaged in in-person social interaction with the following people on the indicated number of days:

06172017-04 1. Shobhit -- 26
08252017-02 2. Laney -- 13
04302017-24 3. Ivan -- 7
05022015-19 4. Karen -- 5
06232017-295. Danielle -- 5
06102017-09 6. Evan -- 4
06102017-08 7. Elden -- 4
06232017-33 8. Gabriel -- 3
08192017-26 9. Dad -- 2
06232017-33 10. Stephanie -- 2
06232017-32 11. Tess -- 2
08202017-39 12. Gaia -- 2
08042017-04 13. Noah -- 2
08212017-06 14. Sherri -- 1
09032017-33 15. Gina -- 1
09032017-29 16. Beth -- 1
08032017-18 17. Claudia -- 1
04242017-05 18. Sara -- 1
02102017-02 19. Jessica -- 1
blonde hippie 20. Shell -- 1
09132017-02 21. Cyndi -- 1
08042017-04 22. Scott -- 1
06262016-099 23. Hayley -- 1
06282015-72 24. Thayer -- 1
08032017-06 25. Dylan -- 1
09032017-14 26. David -- 1
09132017-01 27. Megan -- 1
08132017-04 28. Brian -- 1
08132017-04 29. Charlie -- 1
08132017-04 30. Shawna -- 1
08132017-04 31. Mike -- 1
32. Erica -- 1

Total days in the summer with in-person social interaction: 54 (58.7%, a -4.3 percentage point change from spring)

This quarter we have one thing that is an established pattern of the past year or so, and several other unusual things. The established pattern, of course, is the ranking of first through third places: Shobhit at #1; Laney at #2; and Ivan at #3. All three of these people have built-in advantages – Shobhit, of course, consistently landing at #1 even with wildly different point numbers (he has 26 points for Summer, compared to 45 for Spring), just because he’s my husband and I do more social things with him, by far, than anyone else.

Although Laney’s 13 points is one more than last quarter’s and Ivan’s 7 points is one less than last quarter’s, they still easily filled out the #2 and #3 spots, respectively, as they have done every quarter since Ivan moved back in back in late November: now that he lives with us and I regularly go to movies our out to eat with him, he’s been #3 for Winter 2017, Spring 2017 and Summer 2017. I expect he will be every quarter until he moves out, currently expected to be in the fall of next year, unless something drastic happens that brings Laney’s numbers down.

Now, I don’t live with Laney, but since she’s lived on Capitol Hill we hang out a lot -- and she has secured the #2 spot every quarter now for the same amount of time Ivan has secured the #3 spot, and was even #1 a few times before that, before Shobhit moved back from L.A. in December. The thing with Ivan is that even though I literally spend more time with him than any other friend by far, because I live with him, I only count it as socializing if we either hang out together at home with another friend who does not live there, or we go out. Otherwise Ivan would have a stupendously unfair advantage in this poin system, if, say, I counted every time we watched a Netflix movie together at home, which we do a lot. But just like with Shobhit, I don’t count just hanging out at home when we’re all just at home by default anyway. That makes it an unfair fight. (Which no one on these lists is fighting for at all, of course; this “competition” is only in my mind.)

Karen is unsurprising at #4 with her built-in regularity of twice-monthly lunches, but that still can vary, ranking her usually somewhere between #4 and #7, depending on how many times I’ve seen other key friends like Danielle or Evan – who, of course, rank here at #5 and #6, respectively.

Anyway! Now for the notable changes. After Elden at #7, who now comes by default at generally the same number of points as Evan because they are a couple and rarely go out separately, Gabriel is bouncing back. He’s ranked this quarter at #8, with three points – the most he’s had during one quarter in an entire year. In Summer 2016, he ranked #3 with six points, but since then only ever had one or two points per quarter: ranking #12 in Fall 2016 with two points; #12 in Winter 2017 with two points; and ranking #25 in Spring 2017 with one point. That is to say, I hung out with him on six days last summer; two days each last fall and winter; and one day in the spring – but, three days this summer. And for most of this year, that was due to a now fairly well-documented semi-estrangement that has since been close to reconciled. In other words, he's talking and hanging out with me again.

But the Gabriel-turnaround is not the only anomaly in this quarter's rankings. The rest of the list is actually fairly typical, the same people I tend to hang out with once or twice every three months, but then you get down to the bottom of the list, with old friends from the Seattle Lesbian and Gay Chorus. I left that chorus in February 2004, and I started writing up these social reviews maybe a year and a half before that. (The archives go all the way back to Spring 2002 because I back-filled the Social Review to nearly the beginning of my LiveJournal.) In the early days of the Social Review, a whole bunch of us in the SLGC were on LiveJournal, because back then there was no social media, only blogs. For a brief period, fellow choristers who found themselves on my Social Review rankings admitted to feeling competitive about how high they would get on the list. Mind you, this is long before I was close friends with Laney, or had even met Shobhit; Barbara, for years, consistently ranked #1, and Julie used to rank quite high for a few years too. (Julie was in the chorus; Barbara was not.)

So. On this quarter's list, ranked between #28 and #31, are either old choristers or in one case the spouse of a chorister, who were at the SLGC Family Reunion Picnic Laney and I went to last month. This includes Charlie, with whom I did hang out frequently for a few years after (and even saw him at Cavin's birthday party in April of this year) but who I've still been pretty distant from since around 2010 maybe. But it also includes Shawna, who had been the instigator of an online campaign to reject me because of what I called "Boobgate," ultimately the cause of my leaving the chorus and resigning from its Board. It's pretty much all water under the bridge now and ancient history, not even wotth getting into detail here (you can fill yourself in with that link if you really want). But that doesn't mean it doesn't feel awkward when I do see her. She hosted that picnic, though, and I chose to go in spite of how awkward it might be, and she was gracious and polite and I tried to be as well -- so, although I did not spend a huge amount of time interacting with her directly, she reappears on the Machu Picchu Social Review. Although now that it's on this new website I guess I should rename it the Fruitcake Enterprises Social Review. I guess I will do that.

In any event, this is the first time Shawna is seen ranked in this list since the Winter 2004 Social Review -- that being the exact quarter in which "Boobgate" occurred. That was so early on that I could have a Social Review with only sixteen people ranked at all; I've got 32 ranked today and that’s a notable decrease from Summer's 52! The total number of days in which I socialized has been fairly consistent all of these years, though; I just wind up hanging around with more people within roughly the same number of days anymore. I guess it's partly because I wind up at parties with lots of people I know, at least slightly more often. As for Shawna specifically, she was ranked #15 in 2004 -- second-to-last in that list. The last social thing I did with her with the specific intent of spending time just with her, was going to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King with her on January 17, 2004. This would easily be the record, then, of length of time spent away from the quarterly Social Review before returning again -- thirteen years and eight months.

Among those four from the chorus that were at the picnic last month (besides Laney, of course), I ranked Brian the highest because I spent by far more time chatting with him than any of the others -- more than all the others combined, in fact, and that included Charlie, who always seems oddly distant and disconnected with me any time I see him anymore. (I don't find that suspect in any way, for the record; I think it's just the byproduct of growing apart over recent years. We don't have a whole lot in common anymore, it seems, which makes natural conversation more of a challenge.) This is interesting to me because I really never socialized directly with Brian when we were actually in the chorus -- although he was Board President for a time when I served on the Board. But, since then, we have connected on Twitter and Facebook. Maybe one of these days he actually will join Laney and me for one of our monthly Happy Hours, in spite of last month's somewhat pathetically failed attempt.

Two other newbies on the Social Review this time I suppose I should mention: Shell, Gabriel's new sort-of-maybe girlfriend (#20), a shift in association with Gabriel that is a first since 2011; and Cyndi, my mother's biological sister who I met for the very first time this month -- although we had been Facebook friends for a few years (three years last month, according to Facebook -- I just checked). That was a legitimately momentous occasion, especially considering I did meet both Mom's biological brothers, but only once each and ages ago, in 1986 and 1992. None of us have heard from either of them in many years, but Cyndi has stayed in touch. I do hope I get to see Cyndi again one day. I really liked her.

I think I'll include one more side note about the Social Review since this is its first appearance on I did not allocate any Social Review points for anyone at last month's second annual family gathering at Mason Lake, precisely because of what it was -- a family gathering. Such events, in which I include holiday get-togethers (these representing most family gatherings), have always been tracked separately, as family gatherings. Unfortunately that "notes" feature on LiveJournal does not seem to have any direct equivalent on Squarespace websites, but I still tag them here, to keep them grouped together. I just don't feel that holidays and family reunions are social in the same sense as hanging out with friends, or even hanging out with family in the same way (going to movies or concerts or theatre shows or the like, or going out to eat). To me those are a different thing.

I think I've provided way more than enough notes for this quarter's Social Review though. So let's get on with the who did what with whom where and when!

Thursday, June 22: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Friday, June 23: with Danielle, Gabriel, Stephanie and Tess, Trans Pride Seattle

Saturday, June 24: with Shobhit, Capitol Hill Pride Festival

Sunday, June 25: with Shobhit, Seattle Pride Parade and PrideFest at Seattle Center

Sunday, June 25: with Shobhit, Evan and Elden, out for dinner (Rooster's Tex Mex and Bait Shop)

Friday, June 30: with Noah, lunch on the patio at work

Friday, June 30: with Laney, drinks and watching a movie on Amazon at her place (The Girl with All the Gifts)

Saturday, July 1: with Ivan, out for dinner (The Pho') and to a movie (The Beguiled)

Sunday, July 2: with Shobhit and Laney, to a movie (Baby Driver)

Monday, July 3: with Ivan, out for dinner (Annapurna Cafe)

Tuesday, July 4: with Shobhit, fireworks at Lake Union Park

Friday, July 7: with Shobhit and Danielle, out for dinner (Via Tribulani) and to Madison Beach

Saturday, July 8: with Shobhit and Laney, to a movie (The Big Sick)

Monday, July 10: with Sara, to a movie (Maudie)

Friday, July 14: with Laney, Happy Hour at Neon Taco

Saturday, July 15: with Ivan, out to lunch (HoneyHole Sandwiches)

Saturday, July 15: with Danielle, pizza and drinks at her place

Tuesday, July 18: with Shobhit and Laney, to a movie (War for the Planet of the Apes)

Saturday, July 22: with Laney, Ocean's Marathon (Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, and Ocean's Thirteen) and out to lunch (Manao Thai Street Eats)

Saturday, July 22: with Shobhit and Laney, watching a movie (Ocean's Thirteen)

Tuesday, July 25: with Shobhit, to a movie (Dunkirk)

Thursday, July 27: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Thursday, July 27: with Shobhit, to a movie (Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets)

Saturday, July 29: with Ivan, out to lunch (The HoneyHole), out for dessert (Old School Frozen Custard) and to a movie (Lady Macbeth)

Saturday, July 29: with Laney, watching Mad Men at her place

Sunday, July 30: with Laney, to a movie (Atomic Blonde)

Thursday, August 3: with Claudia and Dylan, Slip-n-Slide Ride bike ride to Seward Park

Friday, August 4: with Scott and Noah, 15th Anniversary lunch (Little Thai)

Friday, August 4: with Shobhit, to a movie (An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power)

Saturday, August 5: with Shobhit, Blue Angels Seafair air show, and skinny dipping at Howell Parl

Sunday, August 6: with Shobhit, out for dessert (Cupcake Royale)

Monday, August 7: with Shobhit, out for Happy Hour dinner (Poquitos)

Tuesday, August 8: with Evan and Elden, to "Science and a Movie: JAWS" at Central Cinema

Wednesday, August 9: with Ivan, to a movie (The Dark Tower)

Thursday, August 10: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Thursday, August 10: with Stephanie, out for dinner (Bamboo Garden)

Friday, August 11: with Shobhit, Evan, Elden and Erica, Cards Against Humanity at Cal Anderson Parl

Friday, August 11: with Evan, Elden and Erica, Three Dollar Bill Outdoor Movie at Cal Anderson Park (Beetlejuice)

Saturday, August 12: with Shobhit, out for brunch (Rhein Haus)

Sunday, August 13: with Laney, Brian, Charlie, Shawna, Mike and more, SLGC Chorus family reunion picnic

Wednesday, August 16: with Laney, inaugural performance of the B Naturals at Klein Galland Home for Jewish Seniors

Thursday, August 17: with Gabriel and Tess, dinner at their place

Saturday, August 19: with Shobhit, out to lunch (Shipwreck Cafe)

Saturday, August 19: with Dad, Chehalis Western Trail bike ride

Sunday, August 20: with Dad, Sherri and Gaia, out for dessert (Dairy Queen in Shelton)

Tuesday, August 22: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Wednesday, August 23: with Shobhit, to a movie (Logan Lucky), and out for a drink and a snack (Mezcaleria Oaxaca)

Friday, August 25: with Laney Happy Hour at Marination Ma Kai in West Seattle

Sunday, August 27: with Shobhit and Ivan, out for brunch (Meet the Moon)

Thursday, August 31: with Shobhit, out for drinks (Diesel) and out for dinner (Nue)

Friday, September 1: with Shobhit, out for dessert (Cupcake Royale)

Sunday, September 3: with Gina, Beth, David and Gaia, out for breakfast (Lowell's at the Market, to the Museum of Pop Culture and touring the waterfront from PCC offices to Ivar's

Sunday, September 3: with Shobhit, Gina, Beth, David, Gaia, at Ivar's

Monday, September 4: with Shobhit, out to lunch (Japonessa)

Friday, September 8: with Laney and Jessica, Happy Hour dinner at Bamboo Garden

Sunday, September 10: with Evan and Elden, Live Aloha Hawaiian Cultural Festival at Seattle Center

Sunday, September 10: with Gabriel and Shell, out for drinks (Café Presse)

Monday, September 11: with Shobhit, to a movie (Home Again)

Wednesday, September 13: with Cyndi and Megan, out to lunch (Lowell's at the Market)

Thursday, September 14: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Friday, September 15: with Shobhit, out for dessert (Old School Frozen Custard)

Friday, September 15: with Shobhit and Danielle, drinks at our place

Saturday, September 16: with Laney, to Captain Smartypants and Sensible Shoes show at The Triple Door

Monday, September 18: with Laney, Hayley, Thayer and more, out for dinner (The Pizza Co-op)

Tuesday, September 19: with Ivan, to a movie (Mother!)

Wednesday, September 20: with Shobhit, out for dessert (PCC Greenlake Village Deli)

[older Social Review archives on LiveJournal]