social review — Blog: The Literary Exhibitionist

In the summer of 2019, I engaged in in-person social interaction with the following people on the indicated number of days:

1. Shobhit -- 29

2. Laney -- 10

3. Gabriel -- 7

4. Ivan -- 6

5. Lea -- 5

6. Tess -- 5

7. Josh -- 5

8. Puneet -- 4

9. Karen -- 4

10. Darren -- 4

11. Jennifer -- 3

12. Danielle -- 3

13. Sara -- 3

14. Matthew -- 3

15. Mandy -- 2

16. Noah -- 2

17. Jessica -- 2

18. David -- 2

19. Hope -- 2

20. Kevin -- 2

21. Jeff -- 2

22. Justine -- 2

23. Darrell -- 2

24. Josiah -- 2

25. Ryan -- 2

26. Julie -- 2

27. Gina -- 1

28. Beth -- 1

29. Heather -- 1

30. Tim -- 1

31. Evan -- 1

32. Elden -- 1

33. Scott -- 1

34. Stephanie -- 1

35. Lorrie -- 1

36. Richard -- 1

37. Morgan -- 1

38. Kibby -- 1

39. Lisa -- 1

40. Steven -- 1

41. Terry -- 1

42. Lynne -- 1

43. Helen -- 1

44. Julie -- 1

45. Ben -- 1
46. L -- 1
47. S -- 1

Total days in the spring with in-person social interaction: 47 (51.1%, a +4.38 percentage point change from spring, but a -3.2 percentage point change from the 50 days in summer 2018)

As I was drawing up the above list for 2019 Summer's Social Review standings, it made me realize in a way that had not quite registered before how much of a kind of explosion my social life took this summer. Not in terms of where certain regulars ranked or in terms of the total number of days in which I socialized, both of which are pretty consistent for the summer; but in terms of the sheer number of people included. Summer 2019 has 47 people with whom I socialized, up from 34 in the spring quarter immediately preceding, and also up from 33 last summer.

There are several contributing factors to this, but one particularly major one: Gabriel, and his new relationship with Lea, which brought the meeting of several new people with it, most of whom I hang out with several times, all within the past three months. I hung out with Lea only twice this past spring, when I first met her, but five times this summer; all five of those times were in group settings: drinks at C.C. Attle's; Trans Pride; Seattle Pride; the 4th of July party at her apartment and her birthday party at her and Gabriel's new apartment. Her best friend Josh was at all of these events, giving him five points, same as her. Josh's partner Darren was at four of these events (so, four points for him); Lea's couple friends Julie and Ryan were at two of them; Josh and Darren's friend Ben was at the 4th of July party (I think he was even at C.C. Attle's but I didn't really talk to him there much so he doesn't get a point for that day). These are all new people -- five brand new additions to the rankings list.

All of these people came into my life through Gabriel, making Gabriel the biggest conduit for new socializing, but, he wasn't even the only one to add new multiple-point additions to this quarter's list! There were also not one, but two social outings with coworkers, with significant overlap: Helen's going-away lunch, and the Merchandising Department Sail. These two events included several people who usually aren't on my Social Review at all, but ranked higher than they usually otherwise here because they each got two points: Noah, Kevin, Jeff, Justine, Darrell. So between Gabriel and work, that's a whopping people either new or rare on the Social Review. Shobhit and I even had dinner guests, just last weekend, an older gay couple who had never been on my Social Review before ("L" and "S," at the bottom of the rankings as one-point, anonymous newbies).

So, another rare factor for this quarter's list is not just the number of new people, but the number of new people with multiple points. Typically the number of people with 3 points or more numbers under 10 and sometimes within 5; here there are fourteen. It's also rare to have seven people with 5 points or more. I haven't even mentioned Shobhit's brother Puneet, also a new addition, who stayed with us for four days and therefore gained that many points; or three friends returning from a several-month absence: Sara, with 3 points for that number of days we stayed with her in Denver; and Evan and Elden, both with one point each but returning after an absence in spring, and not having been seen since last December.

The one person to tumble down the chart was Karen, who was going to be ranked #6, still unusually low for her but with 5 points, and had to be repositioned at #9 with 4 points, as the lunch we had scheduled just yesterday got postponed to next week because she was sick with a fever of over 100°. She also had to postpone or cancel more than one other regularly scheduled lunch due to her busy schedule and calendar conflicts. My guess is she will rise up the charts to #3 or #4 again by the Fall Social Review.

Speaking of which, it would be hard to predict how all this will compare to the coming season. Fall is typically a pretty sociable time as it veers well into the holiday season, and often includes several parties, thereby adding to the total number of people on the list, albeit with most of them getting only one point. I don't expect to be part of quite as many social gatherings that include Lea's friends, though: there won't be another 4th of July and Lea won't have another birthday; Pride Weekend won't be for another nine months. So although there's a good chance most of these people will still be on the list, they will likely fall down it. The one notable, known absence will be Ivan, who, thanks to two weekend visits before he left the country has 6 points now and ranks #4 on the current standings (higher even than Karen, which is very unusual), barring a sudden return from New Zealand in the next few months -- which I do not expect -- Ivan will almost certainly be absent from the Social Review for the first time since he first appeared on it in 2015.

Gabriel himself sure shot up the charts, which is nice. It's easy to see why; in a fairly new relationship, he's far happier than he has been in a long time, and is therefore far more inclined to socializing than he has been in a while. He also moved back to Columbia City in Seattle, making him a lot more accessible to me. Those things combined with the requisite multiple days over Pride Weekend made his higher-than-usual #3 ranking kind of inevitable. I'd say it would take a miracle for him to replace Laney at #2, but 10 points and 7 points aren't that far apart, especially if Laney has one of her off-seasons in terms of getting out to do things -- although that's rare and never particularly expected. Laney can probably still feel pretty confident of maintaining her position at #2; ditto Shobhit at #1, regardless of what number points he has (up 9 from spring, and even 2 more than he had for summer last year).

The other thing that struck me looking at the social standings this year was how many of the one-pointers were people I still spent quite a lot of time with on the one day I saw them. Gina and Beth for the Blue Angels Air Show, which was several hours together. Same with Shobhit's and my boating day with Heather and Tim. I spent a few hours each even with Evan and Elden at the Hawaiian Cultural Festival; with coworkers on that sailing excursion; Laney's sister and brother-in-law Lorrie and Richard at our September Happy Hour; even "L" and "S" for dinner last weekend. No matter what angle you take when looking at my socializing over the past three months, even if the total number of days is nowhere far out of the ordinary, I spent a lot more time with the people I did spend time with than usual. It never really felt that way as I was living life through these three months, but it sure did strike me as I was collating the data.

So now let's get to the who did what with whom where and when!

Friday, June 21: with Scott, Noah, Kevin, Helen, Jeff, Justine and Darrell, Helen's goodbye lunch (Boat Street Kitchen)

Friday, June 21: with Laney, Happy Hour at Life on Mars, then hanging out at Cal Anderson Park

Saturday, June 22: with Shobhit, Fremont Solstice Parade

Saturday, June 22: with Gabriel, Lea, Joshua, Darren and more, out for drinks (C.C. Attle's)

Saturday, June 22: with Shobhit, Gabriel and Lea, out for pizza (Pagliacci's)

Monday, June 24: with Shobhit, out for dinner (Little Big Burger)

Thursday, June 27: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Friday, June 28: with Gabriel, Tess, Stephanie, Lea, Joshua and Darren, Trans Pride Seattle 2019

Saturday, June 29: with Shobhit and Laney, Capitol Hill Pride Festival

Saturday, June 29: with Laney, out for drinks (Boca), picnic lunch and watching the Doggie Costume Contest (Cal Anderson Park)

Saturday, June 29: with Jennifer, Matthew, Hope and Josiah, return to Capitol Hill Pride Festival

Sunday, June 30: with Shobhit, Jennifer, Matthew, Hope, Josiah, Danielle, Morgan, Gabriel, Lea and Tess, Seattle Pride Parade

Sunday, June 30: with Shobhit, Jennifer, Matthew, Hope and Josiah, PrideFest at Seattle Center

Sunday, June 30: with Shobhit, Gabriel, Lea, Joshua and Darren, "Queer / Pride" beer garden at Queer / Bar

Thursday, July 4: with Shobhit, Gabriel, Tess, Lea, Josh, Darren, Ben, Mandy, David, Julie and Ryan, Lake Union fireworks viewing from Lea's apartment

Friday, July 5: with Shobhit and Ivan, Ivan spending the night at our place

Saturday, July 6: with Ivan, to a movie (MidSommar) and out for dinner (Ramen Danbo)

Saturday, July 6: with Shobhit and Ivan, Ivan spending the night at our place

Sunday, July 7: with Ivan, out for dinner (Manao Thai Street Eats)

Sunday, July 7: with Shobhit and Ivan, chai and watching Fleabag, Ivan spending the night at our place

Monday, July 8: with Shobhit and Puneet, out for dessert (Salt & Straw) and walk to Volunteer Park

Tuesday, July 9: with Shobhit and Puneet, Puneet spending the night at our place

Wednesday, July 10: with Shobhit and Puneet, Puneet spending the night at our place

Thursday, July 11: with Puneet, up the Space Needle

Friday, July 12: with Laney, Kinsey Sicks concert at Rialto Theater in Tacoma; out for late-night snack at La Cocina

Saturday, July 13: with Shobhit, out for dinner (Vacilando)

Sunday, July 14: with Shobhit, Danielle and Lisa, dinner at our place

Saturday, July 20: with Shobhit, Heather and Tim, boating from Des Moines to downtown Seattle

Thursday, July 25: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Friday, July 26: with Laney, visiting outside her apartment building

Sunday, July 28: with Shobhit, out for dinner (A-Pizza Mart)

Monday, July 29: with Gabriel, seeing his new Columbia City apartment, and out for drinks

Wedesday, July 31: with Shobhit and Ivan, Ivan spending the night at our place

Thursday, August 1: with Ivan, out for dinner (The Marrakesh) and walking the waterfront

Friday, August 2: with Laney, Happy Hour at SPIN Seattle

Friday, August 2: with Ivan, Neko Cat Cafe

Saturday, August 3: with Gina and Beth, Blue Angels Seafair Air Show at Mount Baker Beach

Friday, August 9: with Shobhit, out for dinner and dessert (Cinnaholic)

Saturday, August 10: with Shobhit, out for brunch (Poquito's)

Sunday, August 11: with Danielle, out to lunch (Bai Tong) and watching a movie at my place (The Mustang)

Sunday, August 11: with Shobhit and Danielle, wine and visiting at our place

Friday, August 16: with Noah, Kibby, Steven, Terry, Jeff, Kevin, Lynne, Justine, Darrell and more, PCC sail on Elliott Bay

Friday, August 16: with Laney and Julie, Happy Hour at Jude's Old Town

Saturday, August 17: with Karen, to a movie (Where'd You Go, Burnadette)

Saturday, August 17: with Jennifer and Matthew, staying the night at Jennifer's

Sunday, August 18: with Shobhit, tasting at Batch 206 Distillery

Thursday, August 22: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Friday, August 23: with Laney and Jessica, Happy Hour at Bill's Off Broadway

Saturday, August 24: with Shobhit and Sara, out for drinks and out for dinner (Wynkoop Brewing Company, 54Thirty), and staying the night at her place

Sunday, August 25: with Shobhit, out for brunch (The Goods), and roaming downtown Denver

Sunday, August 25: with Shobhit and Sara, out for dinner (Cinzzetti's) and driving to Denver city viewpoints

Monday, August 26: with Shobhit and Sara, morning visit before Sara went to work

Monday, August 26: with Shobhit, out for brunch (City O'City), touring the Colorado State Capitol, and visiting the United States Mint

Friday, August 30: with Laney, outdoor movie at Cal Anderson Park (Kinky Boots)

Monday, September 2: with Shobhit, out for dessert (Old School Frozen Custard)

Saturday, September 7: with Shobhit, Gabriel, Tess, Lea, Josh, Mandy, David, Julie, Ryan and more, Lea's 35th birthday party

Sunday, September 8: with Evan and Elden, Live Aloha Hawaiian Cultural Festival at Seattle Center

Thursday, September 12: with Shobhit, Sip & Mingle wine tasting at Total Wine & More

Saturday, September 14: with Shobhit, Laney, Jessica, Lorrie and Richard, September Happy Hour at Maggie Bluffs

Sunday, September 15: with Laney, to a movie (Hustlers)

Sunday, September 15: with Shobhit, L and S, dinner at our place

Wednesday, September 18: with Shobhit, to a movie (Downton Abbey)

Friday, September 20: with Gabriel and Tess, 95-minute hangout at their place

In the spring of 2019, I engaged in in-person social interaction with the following people on the indicated number of days:

1. Shobhit -- 20

2. Danielle -- 8

3. Laney -- 8

4. Karen -- 4

5. Gabriel -- 3

6. Jennifer -- 2

7. Ivan -- 2

8. Claudia -- 2

9. Lea -- 2

10. Elise -- 2

11. Sean -- 2

12. Casey -- 2

13. Emma -- 2

14. Auntie Rose -- 1

15. Shauna -- 2

16. Heather -- 1

17. Mandy -- 1

18. Dad -- 1

19. Sherri -- 1

20. Lynn -- 1

21. Elin -- 1

22. Mimi -- 1

23. Scott -- 1

24. Janice -- 1

25. Zephyr -- 1

26. Dylan -- 1

27. Tess -- 1

28. Nancy -- 1

29. Tim -- 1

30. Nick -- 1

31. Goldie -- 1

32. Sara -- 1

33. Bill -- 1

34. Matthew -- 1

Total days in the spring with in-person social interaction: 43 (46.7%, a -7.7 percentage point change from winter)

. . . Hmm. Shobhit continues on a downward trend in terms of points-per-quarter for the past three quarters (34 last fall; 26 in winter; 20 now). In fact, this is his lowest point count since fall 2017, when he also got 20 points. But you know what? He is just to blame for this himself as anyone! Usually he gets a higher than average count in spring for two reasons: my Birth Week, and the week of our anniversary, when we usually go on a multi-day trip, which always gives him as many points as there are days of the trip. Well, this year he did participate in 20 days of my Birth Week activities, which is actually a pretty good showing considering the hours he worked at his job -- but! This year the weekend of our anniversary yielded him all of one point. This is very unusual compared to the most recent few years, but because of all the other travel plans I had this year, and the fact that we had to be in town the very next day for Britni and David's wedding (for which he does not get a Social Review point, nor does anyone else who was there; I have never included family gatherings -- which include weddings as well as holidays -- in my counts of days with social activity), we did not plan a large anniversary trip this year. We merely planned a two-night trip to Portland, Oregon, from which we were going to go straight to Britni's wedding . . . and then Shobhit hurt his back and we had to cancel even that, settling for a day in Seattle for our anniversary.

So, in terms of literal point count, the stars just did not align for Shobhit this quarter. But not to worry! Shobhit's points can get knocked down significantly and he still places ahead by a mile at #1 in the rankings.

The truly significant change this quarter is Danielle at #2, which really never happens. But, instead of a big trip for my anniversary with Shobhit, I took a six-day trip for a wedding with her, without which she would be ranked far lower on this list. But the Ontario / New York trip with her yielded Danielle six points on its own; the requisite Birth Week activity another point; another day in early April just hanging out at her place bumped it up to eight. This technically ties her with Laney with 8 points, and with just about anyone else I would still rank Laney as usual at #2 because I spend so much more time with her, typically, than anyone besides Shobhit -- just in terms of cumulative hours, rather than just days -- but Danielle is a special case this time as I was with her nearly all day every day for six days. Aside from Shobhit, there is no doubt that in terms of cumulative hours, I spent more time with Danielle than I did with anyone else at all.

So, that bumped Laney down to #3 and Karen to #4. Gabriel's numbers are always all over the map with this -- and he is unique in his open contempt for my even tracking something like this (as well as the very concept of my Birth Week itself, although I have managed to wrangle him into it consistently every year since its inception) -- but his ranking at #5 here is the same as it was last time (in spite of it being one less point) . Next time he is likely to be either right around that same ranking, or much lower. Who knows?

Ivan has usually ranked #3 to #5 even while no longer living with us, with the exception of the last time he got only 3 points, in the spring of last year -- and that only being because he was gone in Europe much of that time. This time he falls from last quarter's #4 spot with 5 points to #7 with 2 points, mostly because of both timing of his visits relative to the changing of the seasons, and the fact that I only saw him the one time this spring -- and I usually see him at least every couple of months. But, his last visit to Seattle was in February; he did not bother coming again before I went to see him in Bellingham during my Birth Week, and I spent time with him for two days there (one evening and then all the next morning). He proceeded to stay busy with work and school and chose to wait for another Seattle visit until he graduated; at first he suggested June and now he's saying July.

In fact, his new hairbrained plan (and these hairbrained plans change every few months) is to go live in New Zealand for a year or two, starting in August. Now he's asked to come visit and stay in the guest room both the first and last weekend of July. He typically stays for three or four days each time, so combined this could yield him between six and eight points for the next Social Review for summer, firmly establishing him likely in the #3 spot again. If all goes to his plan thereafter (and time will only tell about that, I kind of have my doubts, but who knows -- "I just need a change of scenery," he told me, and he's said that more than once before), he'll be disappeared completely from my Social Review posts for up to a couple of years. So whatever the case, I look forward to getting to see more of him for this summer at least.

Jennifer gets a pretty typical minimum of two points for the spring due to my annual overnight stay with her for my Birth Week; Claudia, Lea and Elise round out the top 10 with 2 points each themselves -- Lea (Gabriel's girlfriend) and Elise (Danielle's friend whose wedding in Syracuse I attended) being fairly new people in my life. The only other people also getting two points are people I interacted with both at Elise and Sean's wedding as well as the rehearsal dinner the night before. The total days with socializing has been steadily going down the past few quarters, as has the total number of people to rank, but whatever; I don't mind things quieting down a bit, to be honest.

So how about we now get to the who did what with whom where and when!

Saturday, March 23: with Laney, double feature at the Braeburn Condos Theatre (Die Hard 2 and Airplane!)

Saturday, March 30: with Shobhit, VegFest 2019, and later to a comedy show (Amy Miller at Laughs Comedy Club)

Sunday, March 31: with Shobhit, to a movie (Dumbo)

Thursday, April 4: with Mimi, Janice, Goldie, Sara, and more, Trudy's retirement party

Thursday, April 4: with Shobhit, Mimi and Janice, out for dinner (Bai Tong Thai Street Cafe)

Friday, April 5: with Laney, Happy Hour at Good Bar, then more drinks and food at Zócalo

Saturday, April 6: with Laney, to a movie (Shazam!)

Saturday, April 6: with Shohhit and Danielle, hanging out at Danielle's place

Sunday, April 7: with Shobhit, out to lunch (Grand Central Bakery)

Monday, April 8: with Shobhit, out for dinner (Wedgwood II Vegetarian Thai)

Thursday, April 11: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Thursday, April 11: with Shobhit, out for dinner (Papas Hot Potatoes)

Saturday, April 13: with Shobhit, Tulip Festival 2019 and then out to lunch (Mirkwood & Shire Cafe)

Sunday, April 14: with Shobhit and Laney, Braeburn Condos Double Feature (Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old Men)

Saturday, April 20: with Shobhit, Birth Week Prologue: Day trip to San Juan Island

Saturday, April 20: with Gabriel, Mandy and Lea, hanging out at Lea's apartment

Wednesday, April 24: with Elin and Scott, out to lunch (Little Thai)

Thursday, April 25: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Friday, April 26: with Laney, Birth Week 2019, Day One: Fremont Happy Hour Brew Cruise from South Lake Union, and out for dinner (Rooster's Bar & Grill)

Saturday, April 27: with Heather and Tim, Boating across Puget Sound, Des Moines Marina to Gig Harbor

Saturday, April 27: with Jennifer and Matthew, Birth Week overnight at Jennifer's place

Sunday, April 28: with Jennifer, hanging out at her place

Sunday, April 28: with Auntie Rose, lunch (Howell's Sandwich Co) and strolling through downtown Port Townsend

Sunday, April 28: with Ivan, for a walk and out to dinner (On Rice) in Bellingham

Monday, April 29: with Ivan, out for breakfast (Little Cheerful Cafe); visiting Larrabee State Park and Fairhaven Park (to walk to Hoag's Pond) in Bellingham

Tuesday, April 30: with Shobhit, picnic lunch at Greenlake Park, then pedal boating on Greenlake

Wednesday, May 1: with Danielle, out for dinner (Water's Table)

Thursday, May 2: with Dad, Birth Week Bike Ride (Chehalis Western Trail)

Thursday, May 2: with Dad and Sherri, out to lunch (Tugboat Annie's)

Thursday, May 2: with Shobhit, wine tasting at Total Wine & More

Thursday, May 2: with Shobhit, Lynn, Zephyr and Nick, out for dinner (Demitri's Woodstone Taverna) and walking the Edmonds boardwalk

Thursday, May 2: with Shobhit, Gabriel and Lea, "Comedy & Science" Q&A at Laughs Comedy Club

Friday, May 3: with Shobhit, Argosy Cruises Locks Cruise, then An Evening with the Clintons (WaMu Theater)

Saturday, May 4: with Shobhit, out for brunch (Maggie Bluffs)

Sunday, May 5: with Shauna, Nancy and Bill, Sunday Public Sail from The Center for Wooden Boats

Sunday, May 5: with Shauna, out to lunch (Veggie Grill)

Wednesday, May 8: with Shobhit, to a movie (Avengers: Endgame)

Friday, May 10: with Laney, dinner and drinks at Mountaineering Club at the Graduate Seattle Hotel

Saturday, May 11: with Shobhit, out for dinner (Wedgwood II Vegetarian Thai)

Monday, May 13: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Wednesday, May 15: with Claudia and Dylan, out for Happy Hour dinner and drinks (Navy Strength)

Friday, May 17: with Gabriel and Tess, to a movie (Pokémon Detective Pikachu)

Saturday, May 18: with Shobhit, out for brunch (Cafe Pettiroso)

Thursday, May 23: with Karen, out to lunch (Six-Seven at the Edgewater Hotel)

Sunday, May 26: with Shobhit, out for brunch (Maggie Bluffs)

Sunday, May 26: with Laney, Braeburn Condos double feature (Blood Simple and No Country for Old Men)

Tuesday, May 28: with Danielle, adventurous travel to Toronto; out for drinks (The One Eighty)

Wednesday, May 29: with Danielle, Day in Toronto (Toronto Islands; out to lunch (Pai Northern Thai Kitchen); exploring The PATH and Toronto Eaton Centre; CN Tower; out for dinner (The Loose Moose))

Thursday, May 30: with Danielle, travel to Niagara Falls and Embassy Suites by Hilton; out to lunch (Smoke's Poutinerie); Journey Behind the Falls; Hornblower Cruise; out for dinner (Vittorio's Italian Eatery)

Friday, May 31: with Danielle, walking Rainbow Bridge to American Falls; travel to Syracuse via Buffalo

Friday, May 31: with Danielle, Sean and Elise, Emma, Casey and more, Sean and Elise's rehearsal dinner (Dinosaur Bar-B-Que)

Saturday, June 1: with Danielle, Sean and Elise, Emma, Casey and more, Sean and Elise's wedding (The Orchards at Rocking Horse Farm)

Sunday, June 2: with Danielle, Clinton Square, and travel home from Syracuse

Saturday, June 8: with Laney, to a movie (Rocketman) and to the Volunteer Park Pride Festival

Sunday, June 9: with Shobhit, out for brunch (Jimmy's On Broadway)

Wednesday, June 12: with Shobhit and more, Braeburn Condos barbeque

Friday, June 14: with Shobhit, 6th / 15th anniversary dinner (Mondello Ristorante Italiano) and to Golden Gardens Park

Wednesday, June 19: with Clauda, lunch on the patio